Day 28

Just got home from MOA. Nasa seaside kami and I thought about you a lot esp since there was this live band outside a restaurant. They were singing songs that I sang to you (in my sintonado and pangit voice) before ~ Do I Need A Reason, Passenger Seat, I Can Be Your Hero etc 

Honestly, I almost cried. There was so much love, pain and regret inside that I could hardly contain it. I actually shouted/yelled a few times just to ease the burden.

As I listened to them, I reminisced and thought about us ~ our past, present and future. I began to realize that you were right all along. We can't be together right now and that's because we'd both explode. We may have common ground, yes, but we each like a lot of different things. We can't forcibly change ourselves for someone and call it love. If it's love, we'd want to change ourselves to be better. The nagging must not come from the other person but from ourselves.

While we were drinking, Yuichi said something that made a lot of sense. He said that most of the time, those who are in their first few relationships would want to explore more and that those who have a lot exps in the world of relationships would opt to settle down. Most of the time lang naman. And I'd like to think that it applies to our story and that it really makes sense that way.

I don't know. My head's a bit heavy right now. 

Yes, I still love you and I still want you back in my life. But now, I think I kind of understand why you had to go and leave me. 

Yes, I still love you and I still want you back in my life. But maybe now isn't the right time.

Yes, I still love you and I still want you back in my life. When we're both ready.

Yes, I still love you and I still want you back in my life. Even if I'm pretty sure you won't want me back into your life again. 

I don't know. My head's a bit heavy right now.

Ang daldal ko.