Hello there. It's your birthday today. I hope you have fun...real fun. This picture was taken two mornings before we woke up on the 27th. A lot of things have changed you know? I've been going back and forth in each "Moving On" square. Sometimes I feel like I've fixed myself while sometimes I feel like running back to your arms. Yes, I know. We're done now. And you're happy with someone else. Regardless of who she is, I don't want to nag you anymore.
I know, it's pretty pathetic how I think I can wait things out. But what else can I do? My heart's screaming at me right now saying "Go get her!" but then my brain registers several attempts (failed attempts) within these last two months.
I miss you, you know - your hair, your eyes, the way you smile or even the way you curl up next to me and even those nights when we'd just watch TV together. I miss your teeth, your hands and the way you move your feet on the mattress. I miss how we'd fight over what you're suppose to wear and how we'd curse anything that moves. I miss those nights when we'd meet up somewhere to eat and you'd faintly smile at the flower I had just bought for you. I even miss the chairs we used to sit in outside at your balcony. I miss your smell, your laugh and that thing you do when your nose is wet. I miss those bus rides home when we'd talk about how unsure we were about when we'd meet again.
I especially remember our last bus ride together. And it hurts. To be there and to not be able to make you feel like you're the world to me. I guess no memory will ever top my "Things I Regret" List than that last bus ride.
Yes, I know. This was suppose to be a birthday message. I don't know what to say anymore though. Maybe because the words "I love you" are too shaggy or common for you esp since it's coming from me. But really, I do. I love you.
So go, be happy.
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